Directed Conversations

"Talking is almost like breathing - they both come naturally and can be done without much thinking. "

Talking is something everyone does everyday. Directed conversations (DC) are something that I'm learning to do more of. DC's are a different world than just a conversation. Having one I feel energized, empowered, on top of my game, and have a real sense that I'm steering my attitude. Here are the three qualities that transform an ordinary conversation into DC.

1. Intention.
Life seems to have two modes in my world: 1) I'm creating something or 2) I'm standing still. I agree that sometimes it's wonderful to stand still and smell the flowers or determine why the washing machine won't work so it can be fixed. And, generally speaking, creating my life through speaking invigorates me. I see my conversations as an extension of who I am at the moment I'm having it, I like to be as present as possible so that my words are saying what I want them to carry.

2. Focus.
It so mindless to get caught up in talking, only to notice that time has passed and I haven't achieved what I set out to do. DC rectifies this issue in one of two forms. One is having a conversation to pre-pave a situation in life. The other is that DC can be used to clearly articulate what you are meaning to communicate.

A. Pre-paving is something that is easy and fun to accomplish. One example, is in the morning by starting me day with a few minutes to visualize and verbalize (to myself) what I want "to be" today. This isn't time for a "to do" list of activities. Instead this time is to speak about the qualities of the day.....

I will have lots of energy today......
I will feel uplifted at the end of _________.....
So and so will be accomplished easily........
The ______ will have the details sorted out by everyone involved in a beneficial result.....
______ will be fun and spontaneous today.....

B. Clearly articulating is important because it means your words are carrying your intention in a way that others clearly hear what you really are saying. There is an easy test for this one. Make the same statement to an assortment of people and then ask them what they think you meant. The more that hear the same meaning from what you said, the better your articulation skill. I have had too many interactions with people where they said one thing and meant something totally different until I beagn using focu in my speaking. Efficent speaking is done when you deliver your words so that whoever hears them will have the same understanding.

3. Listen.
Talking all day with clear articulation won't help you be understood if you don't genuinely listen to other people. Having conversations with people who don't listen is annoying and frustrating. Some are so busy planning what they will say they can't hear you. Others have such a low level of participation in the moment that they are unable to gather their own thoughts let alone yours. I have found that when I genuinely listen to others they will give me their respect by listening to me. The more attentive I listen to others the more attention they offer my speaking.

Using DC is a proven method that supports me in being an effective communicator in all the relationships and in the various roles I have. I feel better when I am speaking using DC because I'm creating that time consciously with whoever I'm in conversation with. Plus, the energy and alignment created in that conversation produces momentum of positive experience that I can carry forward into my next event/moment.





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